The Quest

The Quest #4: Mission Clear!!

Schwarz Bruder

07 Nov 2023 — 12 min read

The Quest #4

Despite everything, I was able to run a half-marathon this month! Holy shit! It was the Tejas Trails - Great Springs Trail Race on October 14th. Time: 3+ hours. Awful time but I'm proud of myself and a bit shocked that I made it to the end. It wasn't easy at all. Beyond the accomplishment my favorite part was the spirit of community coming from fellow runners, spectators and the race volunteers. Whenever anyone slowed down, looked off, or started wheezing or something, everyone around you checked in. It was inclusive too. There was a person from every type of 'group' you can think of. We're all there grinding it out on the same mission. Plus there were so many older people on the course that were absolutely smoking me and it was humbling. I figured, god damn! If these people in their 60s and 70s can keep pushing, there's no way I can drop the ball. It was motivating just seeing them out there.

The longest I ran before the race was 9 miles, so I knew the last 4 wouldn't be fun. But I had a solid start. Start time was 8am, still a bit dark and a surprisingly chilly morning in Texas. Because it was a trail race with about 150 people, there were several bottlenecks at the start gate and over the first few miles. Most people ended up running one-after-another in a line until the trail opened up at certain places. It was annoying at first, especially because there were some aggressive PR-hungry people, but it gave me time to figure out my running rhythm and manage energy levels. It also showed me how quickly packs of people with the same pace start to form up, and part of the challenge during a race is saving your energy to 'escape' from your pace group to the next one. That was pretty fun. And after the first 10 minutes, the internal heat was enough to keep me comfortable in the cold.

I have a friend that recommended energy chews and gels, which I had heard of before but didn't look into myself. I'm glad they did tell me about them, because having those extra nutrients and energy was crucial after the fun wore off past mile 6.

Keeping pace overall was the hardest part: I never stopped running once because I knew if I stopped, the vibrations from all the pavement pounding in my legs would catch up to me. I did power walk for several stretches but never stopped once. The real pain started at 11+ miles - my left leg locked up and it felt like I was running with a peg leg. And for the last half-mile or so I was throwing myself forward with each step. Then when I saw the finish line was sort of near, I made myself look normal for the final 100 steps or so.

My takeaways from this race:

I can accomplish these crazy goals but I've got to quit dicking around in life
the way of the hermit, being isolated and closed off, is my safe space but I need to evolve beyond that. with others you can go further, faster. but I still need to develop my own internal strength.
This quest and journey feels right and fun. I don't know if it'll make me rich but at least I'll have a rich spirit. Looking forward to attending more races and working hard! Still nailing the format of this too, but I am confident I'll get it right in the next few.

So what's next on the quest? I want to do another half-marathon. It won't be a trail race, so I think that'll teach me some new things about running. Could I get my time under 2.5 hours? 2 hours? Stay tuned!!

October 9th, 2023 to November 6th, 2023

Running

Completed a Half Marathon on October 14th!!

Runs: 5

Longest Run: 13.22 miles /209 Minutes

Average Run: 6.7 miles / 98.3 Minutes

Yoga

Down Dog Yoga, the app I use to practice, had an October Challenge where you had to practice every day of the month. I successfully completed it, and it was a great challenge - usually I have a few off days a week, but it was good to see how the consistent practice helped.

Yoga Sessions: 30

Longest Session: 20 Minutes

Average Session: 15 Minutes

10/09/2023

Wow! Less than a week to go. But honestly I ran 8.75 miles yesterday and that felt good. The goal was to run either 2 hours nonstop or 10 miles - I got through 2 hours. My goal is to do a 10.5+ mile run this week, then two light runs and the race. Still nervous but the positive is that I've gotten some guidance on energy chews and other things to keep your energy up throughout the race. Yesterday my lung capacity was still going, but the rubbery feeling was coming into my legs - the wall. Will I overcome the wall in less than 5 days? Find out on the next episode of 'You Can't Cram Life!' season 29.

10/12/2023

Final days. Running has felt really good the last few days. These longer runs, this fatigue, this focus - it's completely weakened my desire to keep smoking. It's more like - I'm enjoying 'action' of any kind again. Not just zombie mode in front of a screen, it feels good to be alive and to be active. I'm grateful for the yoga for keeping my body loose and limber - did a couple heavy runs recently and felt some minor pain in lower legs near ankles, but didn't persist for long. I know I'm playing a dangerous game so after the race I'm going to see all the doctors and get some long term planning in front of me. Made great progress on the Status page, and still refining the homepage. I want this to be pretty close to ready by the race, so adding in the Town Map feature is the last thing on the back of my mind. But still working on this! The design language and vibe is getting better!!

10/16/2023

I did it!!! 13.1 miles on the trail, completed. My time was 3 hours, 11 minutes. Going to find my official time later on. Got my first running badge/trophy/whatever you call it. Looks cool as hell. It was a really tough race - the first 9 miles felt OK, and then the last few just felt like my lower legs were turning into concrete. but the weather was beautiful, the course was a narrow trail through a beautiful natural area that honestly reminded me of California and of Utah, and the community support was great. All the racers kept saying 'good job!' as we ran past each other, and if you slowed down or weren't looking too hot - people stopped to check in on you. Because the trail was narrow and in deeply forested areas, very often we'd be running in a line of people. Then when the trail widened, whoever had the strength to push would sprint out of the group and hopefully repeat. People of all ages, races, shapes and sizes were there. And to me, there's nothing more badass than the old warrior - there were plenty of runners in their 60s, 70s, and they were running way faster than the younger folks and all looked great and happy. So cool to see. The start of the day was a bit stressful - woke up at 5am, did my usual morning routine and my partner and I drove off while it was still dark, an hour away to the race site. But it was exciting and I missed this feeling - the cold silence of the early morning, diligently preparing, keeping a clear head, getting ready for the big journey ahead. It was enjoyable and exciting. I was a little when I first arrived - it's like being the new kid at school, I'm sure I was the least trained person there so it was like whoa, look at all these badass people here, I wonder what they're capable of? Who's the strongest? Who's going to surprise us all? It's so cool. There was military vet looking badasses with big beards, the usual super slim runner types, but also regular looking moms and even a few teenagers. Who'd be the best?

I heard after the race that the person who came in first, by a very long country mile, was a lady in her early 20s. She didn't just win by a little bit, but a silly amount. It's awesome, because even though it was a wholesome and good vibes event, there were definitely plenty of "hardos", the guys just trying to be too tough or arrogant or whatever. Like I'm the shit type guys. And they all got smoked. Awesome.

I'm looking forward to continuing this project and I am looking for a 2nd half marathon to do, then I'll move to the marathon grind. I do feel like this project can helpful myself but also be a motivating tool to others. You too can turn your life around after being a shithead by running a lot. It's simplifying the story but also the truth. All I can say, find the stuff that excites you in healthy ways and let the journey keep going.

10/23/2023

Haven't run since the race. My left foot's been hurting more and more each day since I finished. Today was the first day it felt good again. On the positive side, I've been keeping up with daily AM yoga. Will have to try acupuncture; did it years ago when I was younger and didn't notice much, but maybe with some real pain in my body it'll have a noticeable effect. I think I'll run in the next few days, grab 3-5 miles. My failure was just not putting enough mileage on the feet; and I favor my left leg while running so it was a build up of damage. But looking forward to the next race - 3M in Austin, January of next year.

Went to an F1 watch party; that was fun. First time watching a race through from start to finish. Really admire and respect how so many people come together to make these races work. And I see the parallels of how everything's the same, but different in every sport, in every community that exists.

Need to get my rhythm back up on the writing front. Just like with speaking, it's use it or lose it. Noticed that the updates for this chapter are a little skinny. Pictures will come out nice though.

10/25/2023

Been a bit stressed about money lately. The truth is that I'm sick of my job but I need a massive brick of cash to get myself on stable ground before I'm willing to walk away. The slow way: it'll take a year or two. The fast way: maybe 6 months. But I've got no idea what the fast way should really be. Part of me hopes this blog is a massive success and I can settle my debts and walk out the door. But looks like I should be looking for something else. I've just hit that wall of Fs to give. But at the same time I need to be honest and say that the jobs, and the companies, I was interviewing for were not the right fit for me. I was chasing the dollar signs again and willing to wear whatever mask would get me paid. But I've learned to embrace the real me and the look for companies I think would excite me and make a difference in the world. But it's looking like I'll have to just do it myself :)

At any rate, went on a 3.2 mile run yesterday. I'm gunning for another half marathon in January, so I know the next few months will be crucial for training. My trail run half was 3 hours, 11 minutes, so the vision here is to at least get under 3 hours, ideally under 2.5 hours. A challenge! Something beyond work to motivate me! No more getting stoned and waiting for something to happen. And that's the spirit behind this - it's my own quest and motivation to move forward in life.

10/27/2023

Looking back at it, pretty light on updates this month. But most importantly I'm proud that I completed my first half marathon. I didn't think it was possible, but I knew I had to force myself to take a step forward. Now the next few steps don't seem as daunting or as impossible. Of course, now that I've set my sights on an Iron Man Triathlon, I'm terrified but at least I know it's a healthy path to set my sights on instead of getting high every day, waiting to die.

The last few days it's been raining like crazy. I've always loved rainy days - I love how vibrant it makes the plants look and feel, and there's something intoxicating about a heavy fog sitting across the world as far as I can see it. Rainy days, foggy days, they feel a bit more intimate. For moody people, all the sad boys and girls out there, it's a vibe lifter (or maybe a vibe validator).

There was also a beautiful full moon last night, it was beautifully bright. There's something calming and healing about looking up at the moon. And I've got one bad eye so imagine if I could see it with two great eyes!

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