The Quest #10: Live, Laugh, Love, Run

May 28th, 2024 to June 28th, 2024

We're making progress: Sendō is finally becoming a real idea. Running is the heart of this crazy story and with each chapter I'm figuring out the details. Running has turned my brain back on. Meditation practices have gotten better, sleep is deeper, I'm DREAMING and best of all, I don't feel the need to spend my days completely in a fog. Still like 50%, but wow, what a difference.

Long story short: I became a stay-at-home deadbeat because life got too hard for an emotionally unstable yuppie. Now I'm trying to redeem myself by running a lot and talking about it. Hopefully you find this entertaining enough to subscribe, buy merch and follow your own Quest.

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• the troll is such a cool addition to the pease park
• the marylander food truck goes hard
• spicy boys remains a mid safe haven in these troubled times
• is it normal to sweat this much
• i should have never doubted you snarf's sandwiches
• the presidential debate was something else
• i feel so inspired every time i see the rowing club on the lake

May 28th, 2024

The end is nigh.

May 29th, 2024

Was feeling a little miserable yesterday. I think it was just the usual anxiety and self-hatred I feel when I go back to work and I think, 'shouldn't I have left by now?' But the reality is that I sucked more than I realized and that it was all on me to try harder to go bigger. Life lessons, folks.

Productive last few days, making my own Kanban board on my office wall as I made a roadmap and a plan for each of the aspects of the blog. It's all stuff I had kicking around in my brain, but now we're firming up the details. I think this chapter will be another evolution on the idea, and by Chapter #12 I think we'll finally have a product that's worth aggressively marketing.

May 31st, 2024

Crazy rain last night in Austin. Deep rolling sounds of thunder, violent flashes of lightning, the endless drum of raindrops on the rooftops. It's such a beautiful sound and feeling. I've always loved rainy days - it feels like the whole world is giving you a hug. Peaky cozy.

June 3rd, 2024

Actually social for the entire weekend - very rare! A birthday party, a concert, a pool day, spending time with friends and family. This'll blow your mind - after the initial discomfort, it felt good. I feel shame for how long it's been but it's the journey I've been on. This will also blow your mind - when you're not zonked 24/7, it's easier to hold useful thoughts in your head and take meaningful action. It's just that the alternative feels so good.

Started reading Wisdom of A Yogi by Rizwan Virk after I saw him on JRE. He's a software engineer-meets-writer and he's an incredible speaker and thinker. Great episode and after reading the first 20 pages or so of this book, I'm loving his writings as well. The book is a recap and coda of sorts to Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda, which I've never read but definitely should after this. Rizwan's book is a great insight about the nature of reality and how we all can find our own purpose. I felt like I was on the right path - I was reading this at the pool here in Austin and a nice guy mentioned that Autobiography of a Yogi is a great read and suggested a group meditation class here in Austin. I've been scared to be social and around others but I'm going to take this as a sign. I can't say that I'll be going to the class this week, but it's on my mind.

June 6th, 2024

Had a major breakthrough in the core of this project - I'm going to call it The Quest. I've decided to streamline it to focus on just running goals and yoga. By simplifying the message, even though I know this isn't just about running, I can write a better story. Austin is a city of runners, and I know there's so many cool things I could write about. I've been looking at Sendo as a love letter to Austin and a record of my life here. No matter what happens, I'm building a record of my time here. Of my life over the next decade in pursuit of these crazy ass running goals.

June 10th, 2024

First run on the Sendō Strava account. Every 'real' run, training or race wise, I'll do on this account. And the run itself felt good, this is the first run I've done in weeks. No music, shaded trail, no one around but the crickets. It was awesome, though my pace was still bad. But now I've got a new mindset and approach to this - I've just got to show up and keep running as much as I can handle each week and I'll let faith pave the rest of the way. Somehow this just feels like what I should be doing.

I've got my sights set on the Austin Marathon next February, it's about eight months away. I can definitely be in marathon shape physically and mentally by then, so now it's time to get serious and focus on mileage. It felt good to run: I need to remember that the runner's high can't be beat.

June 12th, 2024

Got my second run in on the new account. Running out of gas way too early but I'm starting from zero again. Pace was a little bit better than last run. I'm grateful that I've figured out that running is the center of my goals, it is the perfect way for me to get comfortable being uncomfortable, and just like golf, I'm just competing against myself and the course. This is a duel of the monkey mind and the higher self. Yoga makes me feel the same way, but I'm doing bite-sized sessions. And honestly I've always loved lifting weights, so it's not a chore to me like running is. Maybe 'chore' is a bad word. But it challenges me more than anything and it's rewarding in several ways. My clarity is stronger. My energy levels. My thoughts aren't as aggressive and intrusive. It's just 'grinding'. And because I'm getting more comfortable with the grind, it makes me look at work stuff that I've been putting off and go 'ok, let's just grind through this too,'. Again, this is stuff a kid in middle school could tell you. Somehow I just completely forgot how to feel good, how to feel driven, how to feel motivated in life beyond just working to survive and pay down student loans. I forgot that there was more to life, and that it could be good.

Stepping into the arena of life yet again. This time I feel like I could go all the way to the top.

It's kind of like I'm realizing that running, at least for me, is the one of the best ways I can connect with myself, the world and others. Looking back on my life, it's always been a part of it in some form or another.

June 13th, 2024

Working out of Bennu Coffee today. Man, Austin gets crazy empty once the majority of students leave for the summer. Easier to find a seat but it's a bit quieter than I'm used to. But this is one of the best places to work/study out of in Austin, it's dark, good music and a little out of the way.

The mental clarity I'm having with just TWO runs is astounding. Truly. I'll make another corny statement since this is a safe space, but I feel like through running I'm waking up my spirit. It's like I'm connecting with the earth through every step, and through each training exercise I'm connecting with my body more and re-developing that deeper awareness. And running as an activity helps me to connect with others too. For someone that has lived with the introvert banner proudly, and never really felt a strong need to connect with others, running has helped turn that light back on. It's a willingness to connect with others, and a confidence to connect others too. When you're stoned half of the time it gives you incredible, temporary bliss, but at the same time, it makes you way more isolated. And since running gives me a lot of the same feelings, I think I've found that 'purpose' I've been yearning for. Something beyond the endless bullshit of a semi-meaningless corporate job, beyond the endless loop of bars and restaurants every week. It's giving me another way to connect with life without coming at it with this jaded 'been there done that' mentality. I'm re-discovering a lot lately. And here I am after two runs, so I really might become a healthy, balanced person by the time I finish that 100 mile race.

--

Apparently a white buffalo calf was discovered in Yellowstone recently. It relates to ancient prophecy of sorts by several Native American tribes, and has great significance. In some of these tribal cultures, they have a 'White Buffalo Woman', a messianic figure who saved the tribes during a time of extreme famine. She gave the tribes the ability to survive, a magic pipe, and several sacred ceremonies to perform and upload. During this interaction with the tribes, she transformed into a white buffalo. With that said, the birth of a white buffalo, which is extremely uncommon in nature, could signify that major changes are coming in the world. Sure as heck feels like that these days. Exciting! May these changes be peaceful though...

June 17th, 2024

Beautiful weekend in Austin and out west in Dripping Springs. Despite the heat, the nature is truly stunning - even at the gateway of the Hill Country, the wide open views expanses and rolling hills are epic. Shout to Camp Lucy and their Tillie's restaurant - incredible interior design and solid food.

June 19th, 2024

Got a couple solid runs in over the last few days. We're still talking baby numbers - all under 3.5 miles, but I'm building back my body one step at a time. Like many things in life, it gets easier the more you practice. I'm running without music still as I want to get a better understanding of how long it takes for me to run out of steam, how long it takes to get my breath back, and as I'm approaching exhausted, how far I can keep pushing. 100 miles away seems so far away when I'm struggling with just running 2 miles, but I'm excited because I know the entire game is just this. For now I'm not even focused on mileage, it's just listening to my body. I can absolutely see the effect it's having on me mentally and physically. First off, the urge to smoke is less. It's not that I'm getting a runner's high or anything like that, but it's giving life to my body versus taking it away, if you want to get esoteric. Like I can literally feel that smoking gives me mental and physical pleasure, but it's almost like gravity gets heavier. On the flip side, the more I run, the lighter I feel. And because the mechanisms of running are focused on breathing, my meditations have become more focused again. Super weird to say but I'll speak my truth - usually when I'm getting back into a good meditation flow, like actually in a meditative state, I start to cry a little bit. Weird, yes. But for me it's a marker that the meditation is becoming more effective, maybe it's like I'm tuning in with my emotions or something. idk.

Today's Juneteenth, which is a complicated day here in the United States. But here's what I like: it's a day off. And I'm going to use every day off to follow my dreams and push a bit further.

I'm using the Sendo Strava profile for my 'main' runs, and just using my fitness tracker watch for all of my other runs. The idea is that I'm still running JV league times, and I want to use the Sendo profile to highlight my training routes and such, so I won't include recovery runs or the light shakedown neighborhood runs.

You know, I hated sports as a kid, but now I get it. I feel like a complete shithead because my parents tried so hard to get me involved, but I was a sensitive nerd so it wasn't happening.

June 24th, 2024

Got a few non-Strava runs in to build up strength. Last one on Sunday was about 3.6 miles, decent pace. Best part was using running sandals: my first and current pair are (is?) the Xero Genesis. I've been curious about 'minimalist' running and having tried it, it felt way better and more natural. My feet are paying for it days later, but I feel so much more aware and in touch with my body. Starting to retrain, I've noticed I naturally put a lot of weight on my left leg, which over many miles, leads to my left leg giving out before the rest of my body does. I've been working on mentally adapting, and with the sandals, I'm noticing that tendency start to disappear as I pay attention to running every single step perfectly.

I've been reading Born to Run and a coach mentioned a running technique or style that I've been really paying attention to: Easy, Light, Smooth and Fast. One step at a time, master each step of this sentence. I'm only focused on easy running right now, not getting fixated on pace or anything else. Running for mileage, paying attention to the mechanics of movement, not thinking about how far I am from 100 miles. Also learning to run from the core more as well instead of just pushing myself forward. By using more core strength and taking shorter steps, I have more gas in the tank.

Feeling good from a sobriety perspective too. Like I keep saying, I'm no angel, but having something meaningful and interesting to focus on has been rewarding.

June 25th, 2024

Got another 3 miler in. Pace is still lagging around 12 minutes because I really start-stop a lot after 2 miles. But these are limits I'm slowly pushing on. When I first started I could only run a half-mile nonstop. So by the end of July I'm thinking I could handle 5 miles nonstop. No clue if that's ambitious but that's the game plan. And keeping my body upright, maintaining my core, feeling the strike pattern of every step. These have been good tools in training. Keeping it easy, and just pushing a little bit further than I did last time. Ignore what's in front of me and just focusing on the mechanics of each movement. Still sweating like a pig, even during a 10am run, but I'm hoping it's making me strong. I heard training in elevation and training in heat are the best things for you, so I'll keep it going.

One last thing - my focus in meditation has been much better lately, and when I sleep, I dream! It's been a while, usually I have to go completely cold turkey to experience any dreams, but now I feel like the good is overwhelming the bad in me. Running is the key!!

June 27th, 2024

Got another run on the Strava account, and my first run outside of the neighborhood with running sandals. Hit up Festival Beach again, aka my favorite slice of the Ann and Roy Butler Hike and Bike Trail. Actually really liking the sandals way more. I think it's because I'm doing low mileage right now, but I think the bounciness of running sneakers actually kind of hurts me. Once my muscles are more developed and I'm back on a good nutrition routine, I think they'll give me a super boost in speed, but for now I'm just falling in love with the fundamentals. Left, left, left right.

Cover Art, Photos, Text: It me

Quest Icons: Game-Icons.net

In-Chapter Artwork: AI generated using DALL-E (ChatGPT)

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