The Quest #12: Faith

August 5th, 2024 to September 9th, 2024

Most runs I've ever done in a month and the most energy I've put into something meaningful in years. Going on Autopilot helped me survive the grind of everyday life but that time is over. I'm leaving behind a life that wasn't meant to be forever.

Long story short: I became a stay-at-home deadbeat because life got too hard for an emotionally unstable yuppie. Now I'm trying to redeem myself by running a lot and talking about it. Hopefully you find this entertaining enough to subscribe, buy merch and become inspired to follow your own Quest.

Want the full story? Click here.

Look at those beautiful new PR badges.

Haven't watched Death Note in years; still absolutely slaps. Elden Ring is still a joy to play and I think it's the perfect open world RPG. The Fall Guy is a future classic.

My unedited ramblings, typically after a run. Enjoy!

8/6/2024

Visited Marfa. Very interesting. Literally looks like a town from the Fallout series. Megaton on God. Like, there's just random junk everywhere and it's kind of a hot mess. Random craters in the ground. Most roads are destroyed. There's interesting shops and cool finds hidden amongst the chaos, and the desert vibes are good, but it's giving post-apocalyptic. Kind of dig it though, would go back. Felt good to hit the desert, run and meditate out there. The mountains in the distance and the pure silence are really healing.

8/8/2024

I'm pretty embarrassed, looking back on how much I isolated myself from the world, how arrogant and disconnected I let myself become. Here I am, crying about how hard my life is when there's so many people out there struggling to a much higher degree. Not even just 'struggling', but just living. Of course we all know that, there's starving kids in Africa, etc., etc., but when I finally left the castle of selfishness I realized how much I was given and how much harder I need to work. I've spent the last few days actually in the world, around people, and I realize just how hard it is to be human. I can't believe I forgot. I got a little money and I stopped taking the subway and I forgot the masses of humanity. I used to judge people for not realizing how hard life is for others, and here I am living with the same level of arrogance and disconnection.

Running has been hard, but the sober days are racking up. Running a hundred mile race seems even crazier than ever before. But I know the only objective I have to focus on is a marathon, and then I'll worry about the rest. I've got a 5 mile run due this week, and I can't believe it's so daunting! I've already done two half marathons, but somehow just a 5-miler is freaking me out. Part of me believes that I should crush it easily since I've run further distances, and I know I won't crush it, so it's messing with my head. I just have to accept that even 5 miles is a lot, and that I'm not a loser if I walk for parts of it. Plus, I'm committed to running in sandals so I know it's gonna be way harder just based on that. So the journey continues.

8/11/2024

Got the 5 miler in. After 2 and a half miles I was mostly walking on and off, but I remembered to keep giving myself a minute or two to recover and then just going to run a little bit more, but always remembering to keep the form correct. Core stays upright and tight, stride is tight and under control. If I can keep pushing through exhaustion with the right form, I know this'll pay off. But damn it hurt. But here's to running a great half marathon in about a month and to the first marathon in February!!

8/13/2024

Another solid run in. Ran on a trail today as opposed to the gravel paths I've been on lately. Felt so good, felt like I was bouncing and could go forever. Maybe it's also a bit of increased training and since it was only a speed run, I wasn't pushing too hard. But in the middle of that forest today, I felt like a deer. Light, fast, effortless running.

Also a neat tip - I've been using running sandals, but man the chafing on the bottom of my feet has been a little rough as the runs get longer. Solution: surfboard wax. Helps keeps the sandals sticking to my feet and chafing was a non issue. Here's hoping to no side effects.

8/19/2024

Took a couple days off from running but got back at it yesterday with a 40 minute run. Found a great trail running spot that I can just suffer through long runs in privacy. Ran with sneakers this time as I stepped in the absolute wettest dog shit you could think of in my running sandals. True tragedy, but running in sneakers wasn't a magically faster run nor was it super slow. It was about the same. I did notice the tension in my left knee building up faster, but thanks to running in sandals I've learned to put weight onto the balls of my feet, especially when I'm fatigued. I run-walk for a bit, then once I've got a bit of strength, I alternate between running for a minute or so and resting. I know the key to long-distance running is in this balance of energy, so it's refinement time. We're getting there!

8/25/2024

Haven't been writing the emotional dumps of the blog side of Sendo, but things are coming together. The initial set of articles in SenDex are decent, and with a solid few edits they'll actually be useable to people. The articles for strength training will be really useful - I think breaking it up between the program on the site and save-able images and worksheets is key. Running wise, I've been doing good. Yesterday was a 10K distance, an absolute hammering on my legs, but I'm proud that I made it through. Decent pace time too. The distance to the marathon truly feels long AF but getting my mileage to a consistent weekly level is a rewarding outcome. And by training more, I'm learning how to adapt the SenDex content to be better. My feeling is this - stay in the trenches until after I complete the marathon, then to promote this after that. Even six miles feels like hell but I know there's more to who I can be than just sitting on the patio. Movement is key - I run and lift weights on other days. The training schedule will ramp up even more but we're doing good so far.

9/9/2024

Been a while. Been focusing on the overall vision of the site and keeping up with training, as I read back on these text updates I can see that they're a little too down-in-the-feelings. I'm still going to do it, but I'll be less extra about it. I've training more during this chapter than any other, and while the first few miles of a run still feel like total ass, I feel the strength coming back to me. Not only that, but through Sendo and life, I've got a will to live and a purpose again. I'm focusing on the art of my writing, discipline, and the vision of my running, this little flame that's just for me, I want to live again. Or at the very least it's giving me the courage to keep moving forward. I've been spending a lot of time with friends and family lately.

Icons: Game-Icons.net

In-Chapter Artwork: AI generated using DALL-E (ChatGPT)

Everything Else: It me

Subscribe to get an email when each issue of The Quest is released.

Tell your friends, check out the Online Shop and join the Party.

Email me with questions, comments or confessions.