I resented school as a kid but I can see now that the educational system gives you a solid foundation on life. Showing up on time, developing your talents, dealing with failure: it's the same at every stage.
Honestly though?
I failed to internalize any of that until my 20s. I didn't have an internal drive to motivate me so I used deadlines to get through life. Whether it was cramming for a big test or writing a ten page essay, I was the last minute king. I got through life OK but it was a struggle to get anything done on time.
Then I read Principles by Ray Dalio several years ago. It had a tremendous impact on how I approach life as an adult.
Point is, we all have a mental framework that we've developed subconsciously. It's a way of navigating through life that is unique to each of our experiences. It's how we react to problems, experience joy, express love or motivate ourselves to succeed.
OK, duh.
But one of the most important things you can do in life is to explore your mental framework. Deconstruct it. Consider the hard facts of reality that you have to deal with. With all of that considered, develop your own system of being. Make it clear to yourself and others. Keep evolving.
Here's mine.
I make a list of goals for each quarter (every 3 months). Monthly goals felt too short but quarterly goals felt like I could determine where I wanted my energy to go long term. I get these goals down to a page and organize it by category (i.e. Fitness, Finance, Social). I print out a few copies and stick them all over the house. At the end of each quarter I look back on how I did. The process begins again.
Typically I build on goals from the previous quarter. If I didn't accomplish anything useful, I'll reflect on why and adapt. This is the core of what I learned from Principles - it truly is OK if your way of doing things is different - just make sure it actually works for you.
I have a dry-erase calendar in my office: at the very least it makes me feel good to cross the day off of the calendar each night. I used to suck at maintaining a calendar but it's helped me visualize the future when the anxiety of upcoming events sets in. Having it IRL feels more effective for my brain.
Every day I write a to-do list, which is broken up between my quarterly goals, work tasks, and general life tasks (i.e. laundry, doctor's appt.).
I wake up in the morning, do a clear-headed meditation then write down my objectives. When I wander mentally throughout the day I refer back to this list - if I can complete at least one more task, that gives me enough momentum and confidence to keep going.
It's weird AF but I'm writing this out in full transparency mode. This isn't every day, just the ideal day. My only must-do, without fail, is Part 1 and I've stuck to that for the last five years.
Part 1
- Ideally wake up between 5:30am and 7:30am
- 3 rounds of breathwork (WHM)
- 15+ minutes of Ashtanga Yoga or Yoga Nidra or HIIT
- 15+ minutes of meditation
Part 2
- walk dog - ~30 minutes of light cardio
- make daily to-do list
- read book of choice for ~30 minutes
Part 3
- start work day
- repeatedly tell myself that I need the money, we're doing this for the family, and doing stuff you don't want to do makes you stronger, yadda yadda
Part 4
- lunchtime - somewhere between 12:30pm and 2pm
- get a workout in if possible or read a book
- midday meditation - 1o+ minutes
Part 5
- end of work day
- walk dog (depending on Texas heat)
- eventually make dinner
- doom scroll on Instagram and my favorite websites/watch TV/listen to podcasts while washing dishes or doing laundry/do absolutely nothing useful
- 5+ minute meditation near bedtime
- leave phone under bed, leave alone until wakeup
Schwarz Bruder
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